Landy Peek (00:34)
If you've been doing all the right things for your health, working out, eating clean, staying busy, and yet your body suddenly feels unfamiliar, this episode is for you. Because for so many women in midlife, it doesn't feel like a slow change. It feels like a switch flipped. Welcome back to the Landy Peak Podcast. This is your host and friend, Landy Peak. And today I'm joined by Amy Patrick.
she's a strength fitness and nutrition coach and a powerhouse voice in the midlife wellness space. Amy supports women who are done settling for feeling puffy, inflamed, exhausted, foggy and frustrated. And what I love about her approach is this. She doesn't shame you for what used to work. She simply hands you the new rule book for this season of life.
In this conversation, we're getting real about what's physiologically in perimenopause. While the old do more cardio, eat less food strategy backfires and what actually moves the needle now so that you feel good in your body, especially if you want strength, energy, confidence, and a body that you just enjoy living in.
So let's get to it.
speaker-0 (01:56)
am so thrilled to have Amy Patrick here today on the Landy Peak podcast. Amy, would you share a little bit about yourself so the audience can get to know you?
speaker-1 (02:04)
Thank you so much, Landi, for having me. I was just saying to Landi before we had record that you are doing such a wonderful job of weaving these conversations with women of somewhat different perspectives or maybe different passions, but all under the umbrella of collaboration and connection and conversation for women in our age group. So I am so happy to be a part of that and be here because it is truly my passion.
⁓ I am a 50 year old woman and I am in the throes of paramenopause with the symptoms and the changes and kind of what just happened to my body effect about started about 10 years ago. And I've been in the health and wellness industry Landy for over 16 years now. And I was kind of hit in the back of the head with a two by four. That's how it felt. And I'm sure some of your listeners can relate where it's like all of sudden
I was thought I was eating clean, right? That word clean. Thought I was eating well. I, you know, I was a group fitness instructor. ran a studio. I taught many classes. I was go, go, go. ⁓ and thought I was doing all the quote unquote right things. And then all of sudden it didn't feel like that anymore. And I was starting to get very puffy, inflamed. didn't feel the same in my body.
mood started to shift pretty dramatically. can probably talk to my household. ⁓ Energy tanked. I've always been a very energetic person. I just struggled to keep my eyes open. And as a coach and someone who was there to inspire others, that felt very heavy. And so then I really started to dig in what is happening. And
that just unfolded this beautiful journey. I'm so glad I was able to experience that because now I've shifted and kind of pivoted my whole focus in health and wellness and fitness and strength. Muscle is one of my biggest points for women to really focus on how we can not just survive midlife. I am really, and I know this hits home for you and your listeners, we are not meant to settle, to feel kind of mediocre.
for nearly half of our lives. It's just not okay. So to have these conversations and to support women in, what are the strategies, the action steps that really move the dial at this stage? Because what's happened is someone switched the game on us and didn't give us the new rule book basically. So I always like to joke that I'm here to help you learn the new rules for this stage of life. So I'm very excited to be here.
strength coach, fitness coach, nutrition coach, and I love to be in mindset. So that's kind of who I am. I have two boys, they're 20 and 18. I've been married for 23 years. So definitely navigating. This is a very busy stage of life for us as women too.
speaker-0 (05:11)
It really is. And you and I have very similar stories. In that it hit me like a ton of bricks and I was in healthcare. And I think the exhaustion was the thing I was not expecting and didn't know how to navigate mentally because I like you was a very active, energetic person. And all of a sudden it's like when you said I'm struggling to keep my eyes open, I'm like, yes, I remember that so vividly.
And really acknowledging that that can be a common experience for women, I think is huge. Because I think we have so much shame around, how am I, especially if you are working with other humans in this capacity, how can I show up and share knowledge with people when I'm not feeling it myself? And I love how you touched on that.
speaker-1 (06:05)
Thank you, my dear. And I think to relate that to anyone, whether they're in a coaching environment, a health environment, they're in customer service. But think about just in your day-to-day life with your spouse, with your children, with your parents, we're often in a caregiving stage in this stage of life too, right? Where we're taking care of maybe some aging parents or parents who are having health issues. If we're not feeling good in our bodies, in our brains,
and just that exhaustion and that the mental clarity piece, not being able to compose a sentence well. And, know, we're at this stage too, we may have very high pressure jobs, careers. So if we're not able to ripple out and pour into our life, then it feels even heavier. And this is when we're also more prone to anxiety, we're less stress resilient. And that's where I think it's so important to have these conversations because I think women, like you said,
we take that on as, ⁓ I'm doing something wrong. Why am I feeling this way? It must be me. It must be something I should be doing, you know, the shoulds, the coulds, the woulds. And then that guilt layers on and we then often turn to extremes. I see women a lot either then start over training or under nourishing. And what we're doing is just layering more stress on the body. And to recognize that when our estrogen
is declining and fluctuating depending on what age you are, that your stress response actually becomes smaller. It's from nothing other than your physiology. And so when we have more stressors, and I like to call it a stress bucket, like your stress bucket shrinks or it's got a lot of holes in it, then we feel like, this never used to bother me. I used to be able to have 16 balls in the air and be able to navigate it all. And the schedule, I had it down pat.
was travel sports and running all the time. And all of a sudden, like we hit a wall and that just doesn't work so well anymore. But it is because again, our bodies are changing at the very core level. So to recognize that we can actually speed up by slowing down. And so part of what I really talk about with women is the ability to pause, to take a breath, to focus on recovery, to focus on simple things in your nervous system.
that will allow you to manage stress a little bit more effectively and efficiently. Because that really becomes our foundation, not the meal plan, not the perfect fitness plan. It's how are we recovering? How are we managing our stress? Are we able to turn the dial on that cortisol down a little bit? So those are some things that as women we're like, what? I can't go to a yoga class for six hours a day or hop in the bathtub. You see social media memes and everybody's making jokes about it.
but it can be just simple things, strategic things. So I think midlife can be this beautiful, empowering, confident, unapologetic, strong error, but we then need to learn, okay, what are the tools that make the biggest difference in this busy stage of.
speaker-0 (09:17)
so glad you really shifted and reframed that for us because I don't think a lot of people are hearing how our bucket has shrunk and it is a really high stress time. And so using your rulebook analogy where we've been playing the game with one rulebook and all of sudden we need a new rulebook because the game switched on us and nobody let us know.
Let's dive into that rule book because I think you have so much wealth in how we get to reframe and shift how we're doing things. Because a lot of us, when we're thinking about, my gosh, I need to downshift, that's really hard because it hits us at an identity level of I'm a doer, I'm a goer, I'm a out there supporting everybody. And all of sudden you're telling me I need to pause. And it is, and we do. But I think when we look at it pausing strategically,
not pausing as in hands off, I'm no longer doing life. Can you talk to that? ⁓
speaker-1 (10:17)
love this question so much because you hit right on that identity piece. And I would imagine many of your listeners, and it sounds like you and I are very similar, like I was very type A perfectionist, I can handle it type of person. I've got this under control. My schedule, multitasker. I don't know if you know anything about human design. I am a manifesting generator. So I'm like, I love all the balls in the air. You too.
Then when I start, you then you start to get hit in face with the balls. You're like, wait a second. It really becomes a shift, like shifting from, yes, I want to have this productive, beautiful life. However, what is my foundation in getting to that? We're still gonna get to that goal, right? We're still gonna get to, I still am an important part of my family. I still love my-
career and I want to be there for my clients or for my office or for my team. And I want to be there as a spouse. But in order to negotiate the rule book, it becomes very foundational. And I think when we look at it more like brushing your teeth, like it's just ⁓ maintenance. I heard this term the other day, Landy, energetic hygiene. And I'm like, I love that.
because it really goes to, you you're gonna brush your teeth every day, hopefully. You're gonna comb your hair. You're gonna take a shower. You're gonna get dressed. You're gonna eat really nourishing food, hopefully. So I like to think of the nervous system support as just another daily habit that allows us to function better, just like you do your car, right? If you only had one car for the rest of your life, you're gonna take really good care of it.
You're gonna clean it, you're gonna wax it, you're gonna get the oil changes every time you need to, you're gonna give it the best gas possible. You're gonna do everything you possibly can to get the most out of that car with as little maintenance as possible. But we often don't put that same perspective on our bodies. And when we do come from a go-go-go culture, for women especially, 20s and 30s,
We can navigate that and our bodies are super resilient. We can maintain our muscle mass then we can, you I've got this, we can still sleep. That's the other thing for women we haven't talked about, right? You might be waking up between one and four a.m. very consistently not being able to fall asleep or you're not able to fall asleep when your head hits the pillow. And that's when what I call the monkey mind starts and you're just ruminating thoughts and the worry and the anxiety or the, know, what has to be done tomorrow. So.
If we can put in these little things throughout the day that help turn down the dial on our stress response. So stress response, meaning like our fight or flight, which revs us up, gets us all fired up. Sometimes we just need to take that down and then we're able to think more creatively. We're able to see more opportunities and life just feels a whole lot easier.
That's to me, and I'll be honest with you, Landy, that has been a personal journey for me in the last year, is really incorporating, because here's a little story for how much, this just hit me about maybe two months ago. So when my boys were little, I would take, I don't know if you're familiar, it's called booty yoga.
very like high energy yoga. It's not like your restorative yoga, which again went with my personality at the time. I want to get a sweat. I want to get a workout. I want to move. It was aerobic, great music. And oftentimes my son, who was younger at the time, he would have hockey like right after yoga class. So before Savasana, which most people love where you're laying down in corpse pose and just chilling, I'd have to be like, I'm so sorry, Erin, I've got to run. Finley's got hockey out the door.
However, there were many times when I could have stayed for Savasana and lay on that mat and chill. But there was something in me that was like, oh, I got to get home or I got to get out. I didn't feel comfortable to lay there. And looking back now, my body didn't feel safe to relax, which is kind of crazy to think about. But I think that's the case for a lot of women. And that might pop up or.
really manifest in different ways for us, but to recognize that if you don't feel safe to slow down, I don't know if you've ever experienced this, like if I just sat down for a minute just to kind of chill, but I heard the garage door go up and my husband was coming in, look, I gotta pop up and look like I'm doing something. Because again, I didn't want it appear unproductive or lazy or not doing what I was supposed to be doing in my brain.
Not that he had that expectation, but in my brain I did. So I think if I could challenge your listeners, where are you not allowing yourself to take those shoulders down and to feel safe to just be, even if it's five minutes a day. And sometimes it's just putting your right hand on your heart, your left hand on your belly and taking a few breaths. And we all have time in our day to do that.
getting off your screens in the morning or at night. That was a big one for me as well that helped me to calm. If you've ever seen the ice rollers, this is great for my women who have hot flashes or night sweats, put it in the freezer and then you wanna roll it over your face in the middle of the day or the evening and then down the back of your neck, because that's where our vagus nerve is, the vagus nerve for your parasympathetic, your rest and digest nervous system.
And that cold water instantly calms us or splashing cold water in your face, running your hands under cold water, going into a butterfly hug and rubbing your shoulders. So when I'm talking about nervous system regulation, I'm not talking about we need to be calm all day long, because that is not possible and it doesn't work. Life is going to happen. It's having these simple little tools in our toolbox.
that we can pull out throughout the day, just like you would brush your teeth or just like you would send an email, that just, we start to become more aware of that and we intersperse them throughout the day in these really simple ways. That works for us. Like right before I got on our conversation, I wanted to be in my best state possible for you and your wonderful listeners and be ready to have a great conversation and have my energy up. So I have a little routine I do before I do any speaking.
where I calm myself, I ground myself. And it really is what feels right for you as an individual, but to recognize where do I need to slow down a little bit throughout the day. And it honestly makes you so much more in a positive mood, energetic and productive than when we get resentful and nippy and, my gosh, I'm so overwhelmed. Like I'm trying to replace that word for my vocabulary. No more overwhelmed, no more stuck. We have options.
but we just have to kind of slow down and get support and accountability and what those options may be.
speaker-0 (17:38)
Absolutely. I am so glad you brought that up because a lot of what we hear around nervous system work is being calm, being zen. And I like you, unless I'm in a class, I wasn't skipping Shavasana in a class. But if I thought I could have gotten away with it, I think I would have. I just don't think it occurred to me. I never, if I do a home practice, do Shavasana. Uh-uh. I finished that last one and I am off and gone. I have consciously brought Shavasana back in.
and practices of just being because that wasn't safe. And it's learning that my body wasn't really experiencing that rest as safety. I've shared before, I like you would like hear my husband pull up. And even if I was sitting there, go find something. So I look productive because internally my worth was tied to what I was doing.
not to who I am being. And so that shift is huge for me and it's something I have worked on over the last few years. But I looked at nervous system as creating stability, just like we do with our body and our muscles and creating that balance so that we can move more because we have that internal stability so that we have mobility.
And it's looking at our nervous system is that stability. That is the foundation. And from this stable space, we don't have to be calm, but it gives us the ability to be reactive, to move fast, to have clear thinking, to have expansion in our life, because we look a lot at nervous system. And I have a trauma background through a trauma lens, but what I found is the nervous system is key to our growth.
If we want to step into that new identity of being someone that can relax and rest, that has the capacity to bring in more money, to bring in more relationships and love and bring in more clients. If you're a business owner, we have to have that stability so that we have the range and capacity to handle it without the overwhelm and the stuck feeling. And so I love that you're bringing that in because you and I are on the same wavelength and it is a shift.
And it's those moments of, and you're using nervous system in very similar ways that I do. We're using it throughout the day. It is not bringing in a tool to like, my gosh, I'm so overwhelmed and I'm gonna bring this in. But if we give ourselves those moments of safety, that's where we need it. We need to bring in, and I love how you brought up that you do a routine before you, know, public speak. I also was doing my nervous system work before we, you know, got on the call.
But I'm looking at we need to do it before, during, and after, because it's not, we can have nervous system work in theory all day long. And you can have the understanding. And I hear so many women say, I know what I should do, but I don't know how to do it. Because in the moment, the nervous system doesn't have the capacity to really metabolize that stress.
And so when we're looking at those moments of safety, how can we set ourselves up for this could be an activating experience, just you and I talking, we're going to give ourselves stability during, if we're feeling that heightened of stress, let's bring in some of those tools to give ourselves that stability. And after, and I find this as one that we miss is after we've done something really big, either stressful or good that's stressful.
we don't support ourselves then. So it's like, how can we bring in that nervous system regulation after we've done something when we're feeling the anxiety and we're feeling the heightened and we're feeling like, ⁓ we're deep breaths aren't doing it anymore. And although going for a run would be really lovely, I have a client next, so I can't go for a run. We're looking at how can we create that.
in the lived experience. And you're one of the first people that have like, we are on the same page and talking the same language. And I love this.
speaker-1 (21:46)
I'm just leaning in more as you're talking. just noticed my body language. I'm leaning in more, because you just had a beautiful way to describe that. I love the before, during, and after. It was beautifully stated, and how you described it as structure. And I think for a lot of us that are type A, go, go, go, we think of nervous system work as kind of woo-woo. It's kind of the fluffy stuff. It's not necessary. But how you use the word structure, it is the underpinning of everything you want to do in your life.
just you so beautifully stated, we're very much on the same page too about capacity. I love that word capacity because if we don't give that structure to our systems, we will always stay in the same place. And that includes with your health and wellness goals. If you are a woman over 40 and you have a fat loss goal, if you are in a constant fight or flight state, you are gonna have such a more difficult time.
losing fat than if you do practice the regulation that you talked about. ⁓ And then we're supporting our body. There's the new rule there, right? Like it is really important to underpin your daily life with some nervous system tools. Again, not call, but when you recognize or you start to look for triggers or patterns like you and I, when we're about to do some public speaking or about to talk with a client, I want to be in my most energetic place and open for them.
And with your kids, can be too, right? So to have these moments just to transition, and it doesn't have to be long, expensive, complicated, or totally woo woo. It can just be, it's so rooted in science too. And I'm sure you relate that to your class. Like there's so much of this interwoven, I call my coaching is grounded in science, strategy, soul, and sass. Because I will give you a little sass in there too. ⁓
you and we want to energetic and fun and lively. But all of that in these strategies is rooted in science. So thank you so much for sharing that. your listeners, just I hope they're taking it all in because that was such a beautiful way. And I think you said about the run too. I love that because sometimes we need to move it out through our body. know, animals, if you've ever watched an animal after stress, they shake, they shake it out.
speaker-0 (23:53)
are.
speaker-1 (24:08)
teach us some of my fitness classes, I will literally have women, okay, we're gonna take a deep breath up after we've done our strength work, and we shake it out, we shake out the legs, we shake out the arms, I do breathing exercises with them. And I never really realized until you were saying it, that's kind of the after, right? Like exercise is a stressor on your body. And you were saying before, during and after, and I never kind of thought about, I do it after.
because of wanting to cycle through the nervous system, but how to do it after a conversation or after even the exciting things in our lives. Again, Lee Watt, you said that beautifully too, because there's such a fine line between anxiety and excitement. They both kind of feel the same, right? A little bit of butterflies, our body kind of gets a little, the shoulders come up a little bit, we're...
little nervous, but they're very closely related. So things that make us nervous are things that make us excited. That's a great time to pull out those tools. So I love, love, love this.
speaker-0 (25:09)
So I do want to swing into your sweet spot around our bodies and being the person that was go, go, go. Let's push my body to the max until that wasn't working anymore. And the rules changed. And now what can you speak to how we can support ourselves physically as we're hitting this perimenopause space?
As we've talked about nervous system wise, that next level, cause we do need that nervous system stability. And then we need to be focusing on how we can feel good. Cause I am somebody that loves fitness, but my heavy loaded fitness classes weren't making me feel the way that I, that they used to in my twenties and thirties and what's going on and how we can support ourselves. What's kind of the best plan.
speaker-1 (26:02)
Great, great question. And I like that again, how you framed that we've got our nervous system as our stability, and then we have our pillars, right? So fitness and movement, huge pillar, and then our nourishment, huge pillar. But again, I come from a group fitness background where it was like teaching boot camps, interval work. I taught step class, I taught a boxing class. Very like the better and the more sweat, that was a better workout.
Exactly. If I feel completely wiped out and exhausted, that was awesome. it's really about, so again, going back to the rules of the game, it's shifting the mindset around that. So we can still unleash that awesome athlete within us, that competitor, that person who likes to train.
But now we're taking it up a notch because you're actually not just working out anymore. in a, you know, in kind of in a group fitness class, it's getting a great sweat. You're working on your cardiovascular system. Yeah, she might be using some resistance, but it's a very different beast than when we get into very focused progressive overload strength training that's done in a plan. So that is the, to me, the key for women over 40 to maintain their muscle mass.
And I've seen it time and time again. I've worked with, which is just kind of crazy to say no, Landi, but I've worked with hundreds of women and all in this age group. And it is so empowering. And it's why I love my job so much to see the transformation, not just in this is a whole nother conversation, but I really encourage women not to use the scale as a measure of progress. We use our muscle, our body composition, how we
feel in our bodies? Do feel stronger? Are you lifting heavier? Are you able to do a push up from your feet? How are your clothes fitting? Let's look at those progress photos and see the reduction in inflammation. So it's really shifting the mindset on the protocols and then the measures of progress because we come from the era of the scale is king and I want to lose weight. I want to be skinny. I want to restrict and diet and just constantly work out until I'm
So that to me was a big game changer in recognizing I need to slow down my strength training. I need to focus on what I'm lifting and how I'm lifting. And I need it laid out in a plan. So oftentimes women like to do just kind of random workouts. I'll pull something from YouTube. I'll do something my friend sent me on Instagram. And that's we kind of, we're still moving, which don't get me wrong, it was wonderful. We want to be moving.
But when we do these random things, I always say we get random results. This age of life, we need to be more strategic. And it can be very fun and exciting when we're maybe like, that sounds so boring. It's not boring at all because you get into that athletic mindset of how many, like we just, I, with my in-person clients, I do benchmarks. So in October, we did a push-ups. How many push-ups can you do in a minute? We just did it again yesterday.
Every single woman yesterday got more push-ups in November than they did in October, and they were radiant about it. So excited. That had nothing to do with the scale, nothing to do with what they ate that day or what, you know, anything about those kinds of measures. They felt strong in their bodies. So we need to shift to like those measures of progress and then lifting heavier weights and wherever that is for you right now. ⁓
with three pounds, then okay, let's work on getting up to five pounds. And then it's really encouraging to see how you progress. And I really do encourage women to track it. You know, have a plan and track what you're doing, because then you can look back and be like, my gosh, I started here. I had a client, I just congratulated her so much yesterday. She, when I started working with her a little over a year ago, she had had a sprained ankle.
very weak ankles, she had gone through a later in life pregnancy, her hormones were a mess, which affected her joints, which is another thing we don't talk about often with paramedicopos and menopause, it impacts your joints.
And we, you know, we're like, I'm just getting old. It's because you are losing your lubrication in your body. need to replace that in other ways. So this client started with me. She, she had just finished PT and she wanted to get stronger. We literally started with bands and body weight because she wasn't cleared to lift weights at all yet. So with, this is a virtual client, so I wasn't with her in person, but we worked together and we just, she was so consistent through so many different obstacles and challenges.
including having a toddler at 44. So she, and she was a school, she is a school administrator, so high stress job, but she was just committed to getting stronger. That was her goal. Yesterday in her check-in, she messaged me, she just dead lifted 50 pounds in each hand. When we worked from a year ago, she wasn't lifting any weights. So she was ecstatic, ecstatic. And that's the kind of changes we can make. Her body composition has changed completely.
And when women say, you I want to lose weight, most of the time they want a different body composition. They want to look like they work out. They want to look like they're fit. They really don't care so much about the weight as how they look and feel, but we get so hyper focused on the scale and we're so ingrained. got to drop my calories and I got to increase my cardio to get there that that's
takes a bit of a mindset shift. And that's one of the things I really try to work on with my clients is that mindset shift on how we get there, still gonna get you to the goal you want, but we're gonna take a little bit of a different path at this time of life. And the strength training is, phenomenal. It's so cool to do. And I encourage every woman out there to lift some weights. If your aging is important to you, if your mobility, your independence,
Remembering your children's names when you're 80, because it's not just about how you look, it's about your independence as you age, and it is so connected to your brain health, it is so connected to your metabolism, and it is so connected to your joint and bone health. And that's all connected to your cardiovascular system too. So if you want to live without chronic illness, you wanna have adventures with your husband and your grandkids.
If you wanna work for a because you love your job and you wanna travel and experience things, you have to have muscle on your body. That's my point of view. You need to focus on your muscle. And ⁓ lifting some weights is the way to do it.
speaker-0 (32:58)
my gosh. I love the reframe around it's not just losing weight because you've hit the nail on the head where what we want as women is to feel good in our bodies, to look like we work out so that when we put on clothes, we're like, ⁓ yeah, I look good. Not, those jeans are a little tight. And it's that mindset shift around the scale to really have the true goal.
is that we want to feel good, that we're out there, we have the energy, we have the capacity, we can do the things we want and we feel good doing it.
speaker-1 (33:38)
And that feeds your energy, because you and I talked about energy. That confidence radiates out and then you have more energy. It's crazy. It just goes hand in hand. It's not just the endorphins and the dopamine that you get from the workouts, but it is this confidence then of feeling good in your clothes. I can't tell you, breaks my heart when I see women that will not take pictures with their family because they are so uncomfortable in their bodies.
that they will not, on vacations, they just are always the one taking the pictures. no, I'm good, I don't wanna be in there. And that is so heartbreaking because you want to experience life and confidence is such a huge part of that.
speaker-0 (34:20)
it comes from how we feel inside. And it really doesn't matter body size to have that confidence to feel good inside. It's coming from that internal shift and that internal identity. And when we're doing things that support us feeling good, you're right, it radiates out and we do kind of shift everything in our perspective in life. And we show up in a different way. I've heard so much about strength training in midlife.
But can you break it down a little bit more for the listener in what are we talking about? What are we looking at? Is this something we need to go join a gym? Can this be something we're doing at home? It can feel overwhelming. And then you do tend to go hit YouTube. Hopefully you're finding somebody that has good advice, but we're kind of guessing. And you talked about we need a plan, but what are we looking for that we need to have in our plan?
speaker-1 (35:14)
I love this question too. So first and foremost, if you're just starting out in strength training, I would highly recommend getting a coach. I would also highly recommend getting a female coach who understands the female body. is, you know, if you have heard of Dr. Stacey Sims, her whole philosophy is women are not small men. And so much of the research out there in nutrition and fitness has been done on men because all the variables are taken out then.
We're very, you we are because of our cycles and hormones, all the things. It's very hard to do studies on women with all the different variables. So it's more expensive. It's just, it's more complicated. So we can't extrapolate information that has been done on men to women, especially women 40 plus. So I would really, you know, look for a good quality coach, not just an influencer out there either. I will say for women over 40, form is important.
because if we are just getting back into fitness after having children or we've never lifted weights before, we've always been like the cardio queen, having the proper form, number one, will keep you safe. And if you're safe, you're in the game longer and we're prone to joint issues. So I always want to make sure you're safe, number one. And number two, you're going to get way more efficient and effective results if your form is good, because you're going to be able to increase your weights. So having some,
Real support when you're transitioning into the game, I think is important. And then as far as having a plan, I have seen women do extremely well with literally working at home with some dumbbells and bands. And I've seen women do extremely well working out at the gym. It really comes down to a comfort level and also a schedule thing. I don't want women to think, I have to have a gym membership. I have to leave the house and...
Oh, I don't have time for that. And the kids need me and there's just not a good time. They're too busy. You can literally do a 35 to 40 minute workout, even 30 minutes and be so efficient and effective and get great results too. So I think it's kind of taking away those limiting beliefs. It doesn't have to be long actually kind of under my strength workouts now are under 45 minutes. Um, it doesn't have to be where you have all this fancy equipment. It can be very simple.
You want to do work that, again, supports the female body. So I always like to focus on glutes because not only do we like to have good glutes in our jeans, no pancake butts, but also if you have strong glutes, strong hamstrings, you're way less likely to have low back and knee issues. I also love for women, you and I are both sitting upright with our posture, but it's really important to work your rear delts.
because otherwise, and again, in this day and age where we're all on our phones, our computers, we're always hunched forward. So I love for women to work the rear delts to balance out the rounded shoulder effect. So I never liked women to do anything where, you know, those machines at the gym where you're grabbing and crunching forward, we are already forward enough. So in my mind, I'm always thinking about balance. Where do we need more support? Usually the back of the body. And then...
let's get the big muscle groups in. So if you only have two days a week to work out, maybe you do one day of legs and one day of your chest and back and some core work. And then if you have more flexibility to add in, we can layer in from there. But for women just starting out two days a week, 30 to 45 minutes at home, at the gym, if you're a little intimidated at the gym, start at home and you just need a couple sets of dumbbells, some bands and
What I call progressive overload landing is like, it's not that you do all of a sudden, we're not doing the muscle confusion thing anymore. That was kind of past. We're, know, if I am doing a strength training program for a client, we usually work in four week blocks. So for the same, for the four weeks, you're doing the same, let's say it's two days a week, you're doing the same upper, same lower, or maybe it's a total bottom. And you're doing that week two, week three, week four.
The benefit of that, and that's exactly how I trained myself. The benefit of that is now week one, you're getting used to the moves. You're learning the moves, you're getting confident in them. You're kind of figuring out what weight can I lift here? How is my form? Am I breathing? Am I engaging my core? Core is so important for women too. And then by week two, you're like, okay, I got this. I think I can go up and wait and miss in this exercise.
Week three and week four, I call week four is like the main event. You're a runner you had mentioned. So like, let's say you were training for a marathon. Well, week four is game on marathon in your big city, in the event. So you want to challenge yourself. Like how heavy can I go in good form? And then we start all over again with a new phase. So it's developing confidence and competency, but then throughout the month, throughout the phase, you're building greater endurance and strength.
because you're starting to lift heavier or slowing the movement down or incorporating a little bit of pauses. So there's always ways to generate more time under tension. And that's really the goal. don't, you know, we don't actually build muscle during a workout. We break it down, right? We want to break down the muscle. And this is kind of just to understand why these changes happen too. So there's estrogen receptors in your entire body.
one of them is in your muscles. So this is why in our 20s and 30s, like when I was trying to get buff for my wedding, the book I bought, yes, I literally bought a book, was called Buff Brides. And I was so proud of myself. I followed the program and I had five and eight pound weights and I did it in our back little room. And I got some great results with five and eight pound weights. However, when I, you know, I was 20, what, 27, so I got plenty of estrogen.
estrogen helps stimulate your muscle fibers. So it really helps us. It does a lot of the heavy lifting, let's say. When that starts to decline and fluctuate, that's why it's so much more important that we put extra load on the muscles because the estrogen isn't there to stimulate them anymore. So we need to help out and we need to put the stimulus on the muscle to break it down. And then we recover with our nervous system work or sleep or hydration.
and our nourishment. So break down the muscle during your workout, replenish with the other pillars and really, you know, it's challenging yourself in a different way versus the sweat and the cardio and the jumping. Not that, you know, you can incorporate one or two small hit days in there, but it should not be your foundation.
speaker-0 (42:09)
I just said that. As I go from that workout mentality to when you said two days a week, I'm like, oh my gosh, just two days a week and that's all you need? And I can feel in my body like, mm, yeah, no, five, because I was totally the one like day off. I don't need a day off. I'm good. need that run. Like if I don't have seven days, then I'm going crazy.
And it is that shift where, and I think in this age and stage, there's a lot more of our mindset that comes in around how we're thinking about exercise and how we are accepting exercise differently in our bodies, where we're looking at more, okay, we're not maxing out seven days a week. You're talking started two days a week. And then I love the progression through the month.
where you're doing the same exercises every week. And that starts making sense to my brain. Cause I'm like, ⁓ I get like rebuilding that foundation. And then we get to increase and work on that load and stability. And how can we do time under tension where we're expanding. And it feels very expansive as I'm talking about it versus this more manic feeling around exercise. was like,
my gosh, I've got to get it in and I've got to, it's like, Whoa, okay. That shifts. And I can literally feel it in my body as I'm talking that shifts in the plan of, okay, I feel, and there's probably some nervous system safety in there. feel safe going in, there's a plan. And this is how I'm going to do it. And then I get to shift in the next month, but in my hyperactive brain,
There is that stability that just comes in. It's like you're speaking nervous system work with exercise planning. And it's so funny, like I've had two clients today that have like, my gosh, my little brain needs a plan and I need a plan. We weren't talking about exercise, but how many of us in this midlife stage are feeling so dysregulated and unstable in just life and stresses and trying to navigate.
having a plan that we can rely on does allow us to expand into that exercise where it's like, okay, I'm taken care of. And I love how you put, need support because I think it's hard for a lot of women to receive support, to be like shift out of the mindset of I can do it all and I'm going to do it all. And I'm gonna just figure it out to wait, if I have a plan, if I have that support, I also have the,
I also have the accountability, but more than that, I have a cheerleader that's going, okay, we're doing this and we're keeping going. And you're not just alone because I think a lot of what we do in this midlife space is try to just figure it out. And it's not a just figure it out because we're trying to figure it out with the old rule book. We need somebody with the new rule book to say, okay, this is what we need. And so you talked about the pillar with our mobility.
our movement, would you talk a little bit about the pillar with nutrition and how we're kind of relying on both as we're shifting how we're looking at the stage in life?
speaker-1 (45:36)
I love this conversation so much. ⁓ So yes, we've got our strength training down. And then two, just a quick point. We just wanna be moving more, right? A lot of our jobs and our lives right now are sedentary. We're working from home, we're in the car driving kids, we're watching Netflix, we're on our phones. But just to move more throughout your day is key. That's where the fat loss comes in, honestly. And we start to rev up that metabolism again.
So just consciously, again, it doesn't have to be like you're training for a marathon. It can be that you're trying to get a thousand more steps than you were two weeks ago. So just kind of think, how can I move more throughout the day? Squatting every hour, a couple of body weight squats. You we've all heard these things, but it really does make a difference. Parking farther away, just making a game of it. And I think when you get your kids involved in that too, then they start to think about those things and we're setting a foundation for that.
So more movement and you're starting training. And then with the other pillar with nutrition. Yes. We really, the rule book has definitely changed on nutrition. I always, I like to look at this in midlife as a kind of a two-pronged approach with nutrition. Yes, we really need to focus on, of course, if we have a fat loss goal, calories in, calories out.
And part of that will be your macronutrients, the big picture things, your protein, your carbohydrates and your fat. Now, I'm sure many of your listeners being on social media have heard, I need to eat more protein. Hands down, You really, most, would say, Landy, 90, I would say almost 95 % of the women that I coach coming into my program, they are,
probably under eating protein by between 50 and probably between 30 and 50 % too low. they're, you know, they're just almost not even aware or conscious of that because again, in our generation, we weren't really taught as much about protein. We were taught carbs are bad, healthy and fats are bad. You know, we cycled through all of those stages. We did go through like keto.
and carnivore and these, you know, very limiting restrictive diets. for women over 40, unless you're doing some kind of immune protocol or some kind of healing journey, I really don't recommend anything that is super restrictive. ⁓ Our body needs nourishment. So if you kind of shift the focus to how do I nourish myself? How do I fuel myself? Food is medicine, hands down. So we want to look at the calories. We want to look at
kind of the equation of calories in calories out. You do want to focus on protein. And if you're starting and you start to be more aware and you're you're only eating protein maybe twice a day, okay, let's make sure we're adding it at breakfast. Usually where I see women are missing the boat is breakfast and snacks, where snacks tend to be much more carbohydrate focused and quick burn energy. And that's when we really need more stability with protein and healthy fats when we're at snack time.
So anchor your day with protein and then make sure you're having a true protein source, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a snack. And then you're gonna get closer and closer. Now, if you have some specific strength training goals, if muscle is really important to you and you wanna build more muscle, then we're gonna build from there, right? We're gonna start to increase. But if I could just get women thinking more about, okay, learning what a true protein source is.
And guys, spoiler alert, I'm sorry. I'm gonna just, everyone will stop this podcast right here, Landy, but peanut butter is not a protein. Cheese is not a protein. Quinoa is not a protein. You wanna look for something like for the calories that you're getting, it has a good amount of protein kind of training in a different way to our brains. Like what is a true protein? And how do I get 25 to 30 grams of protein on a meal?
So just start to be more aware of your protein intake. Carbs are not a bad thing. We need carbohydrates to do a conversion of inactive to active thyroid hormone. So if you're on a very low carb diet for a long time, your thyroid is gonna really dial down. And as we know, thyroid is our main commander of our sex hormones and our metabolism. So that's where we need carbohydrates. Now we just need to focus on the quality of the carbs.
And this is kind of no brainer now, but sometimes we just need to just take a look at what we're doing out of habit versus intention. so quality carbohydrates, sweet potatoes, oh sourdough bread, sprouted bread, all kinds of, there's really good quality pastas out there now you can incorporate. Potatoes are great. What am I missing? Rice, quinoa, beans, veggies and fruits are carbohydrates. So make sure you're getting so much
color and fiber. Fiber is also where I think women m healthy fats where that is having brain fog, your are starting to diminish if you will. Um, joints, when we focus on the we can start to impact o symptoms, which is quality
Those are the big picture things on one side of the equation. And this goes hand in hand with what I was just saying. Then you wanna look at the micronutrients. And this again goes to the quality of your food where you wanna get a lot of coloring in your day. You wanna get your essential fatty acids. You wanna get your fiber in, your vitamins, your minerals. Minerals are so important for women because when we cycle, we get very depleted in our minerals, like things like magnesium or potassium and sodium even. So we really need to look at
Am I eating greens? It's crazy to me how few women get vegetables in on a regular basis. So looking at, I getting greens in? Am I getting cruciferous veggies, things like broccoli and cauliflower and cabbage? Because ladies, that's what will help you detoxify excess hormones. And it keeps you much less prone to cancers. It keeps you going to the bathroom regularly. And it helps detoxify your entire system.
So the quality of our food, the vitamins and the minerals, and then with the macronutrients and the calories in, calories out. Now that all sounds complicated, but honestly it's how you compose your plate, right? Have some greens, have some veggies, have a big, you know, make sure you're getting your protein source. Carbohydrates, just like a quarter of your plate, not the entire plate. And then your healthy fat, avocado, hummus, nuts and seeds. I love tahini, which is ground up sesame seeds.
olive oil, coconut oil, avocado oil, hemp seeds, chia and flax. I really am a big believer women our age should have at least one tablespoon of one of those a day. Again, for fiber and estrogen metabolism. That's like your condiment over your plate. So even just to start there, I've women, I've seen so many women have amazing results just by starting there. Not tracking anything, not counting anything, but just focusing on how they're composing their plate and a little bit more protein.
speaker-0 (53:15)
It's incredible how much it shifts. And I love how you do the visual of the plate because that's how my mind works. as I'm doing my meals, I'm like, okay, I have my carb, I have my protein, I have my fat, have my veggies. And you're describing that, but I'm not adding the like chia seeds and flax seeds, you know, in a consistent manner. So I'm like, Ooh, and I'm tying that back in. I love how you're making this simple.
because it does feel very complicated, especially as we are reworking the patterns that we grew up with as fat is bad, carbs are bad, let's get into the restrictive things, we're really shifting. And so there's a lot of mindset shifts where we're having to repattern old stories in this is how exercise and movement is gonna support us, increasing our strength training. This is how our food is going to nourish us.
love the nourishment because it shifts like, this is nourishment. This is fuel. This isn't just calories that we have to count. And that really shifts how we can live our life and show up.
there's so many areas I want to dive in deeper, cause the conversations are just so juicy and this one's amazing. What do we need listeners to know? Is there anything else they're kind of missing that are hot things that you're like, we need people to hear this.
speaker-1 (54:34)
Another great question. So some take home points. You with as women, again, I had this great conversation with a client, Esther, and she's like, guess what? It clicked. And I'm like, tell me what? She's like, I don't have to restrict. I don't have to eliminate this. I just need to shift. You know, you and I were talking about the rules, right? We're just shifting into a little bit different perspective, the mindset.
is huge and also just a couple different tactics. We don't need to overhaul our entire life and schedule and do everything perfectly. That is not at all what this is about. It is about doing the big dial movers consistently and finding what works for you in your schedule, in your preferences, in your lifestyle.
Like this client I talked to yesterday, she goes out to eat quite a bit. It's part of her life with her husband, with her girls. It's important to them. So as a coach, my job is to kind of, I always say, you're the driver, I'm the GPS. I'm going to hold the vision and get you to where you want to go, but I need you to do the driving and do the work. And then we'll pivot and navigate any construction or accidents or delays together.
And that's what we worked on yesterday. Okay, if you want to go out twice a week and she has a fat loss goal, awesome. This is the strategy on how we're going to get you there. So we talked about different ways that she can navigate going out to eat with some different tactics. And she also like me turned 50 this year and she's like, I'm going out with all my friends. We're drinking a lot because that's how they're celebrating. She keeps saying, I want my friends to do something other than go to bars. So we talked about different tactics there.
And you know, maybe you were talking about identity before, right? There's so much of that tied to the identity. And sometimes doing these things causes us to shift with people we love and people we've been with. And just to be aware of that and that honor what's right for you, because the more you do that, the more you're gonna connect with the people you're truly with and feel aligned with that. But we talked about, okay, alcohol. This is one, again, where it's like,
people hung on for the peanut butter statement, they might stop now. But there's so much out on social media, memes about, get your glass of wine to wind down and, you know, go the happy hours. It's like this resurgence again of women and drinking. And I think that that happened a lot of COVID, unfortunately. But I'm not again, I'm not one to restrict. I'm just saying, again, be aware. We want our daily habits and actions, things we do consistently to be in alignment with our goals.
So if you have a fat loss goal, but in your daily life, you're going out and having drinks three or four nights a week, two to three drinks a night, that's not an alignment. Because again, that strategy just doesn't work. In our 20s and 30s, maybe. But as we get older, you place such a burden on the liver when we have too much alcohol, the liver will always prioritize metabolizing alcohol first, other than other macros.
So if you're drinking very frequently, your liver is gonna work on that first, other macros get put into storage. So that's something I do have very candid conversations about where, okay, if that's important to you, let's talk about it. Let's get some tools and then let's figure out how we're gonna make this fit. Cause if it's important to your lifestyle, how are we gonna make that fit with your goals? Can we change from six drinks a week to two, to three?
And can we drink a lot more water in the meantime? So part of what I'd like to tell them is you don't have to shift everything, but we just have to be a little more strategic. That word strategy keeps coming up. And you hit the word accountability, girl. And that is huge too, because sometimes we'll do anything for anybody, right? Like you would drop anything for your family, for your children, your husband, your parents.
the neighbor, a coworker, anybody, right? We do anything. But when it comes to, guys, mom's going to work out for 30 minutes or mom is going to invest in some coaching. And that means maybe dance lessons are going to be three times a week instead of five times a week, you know, to have these, these conversations around prioritizing our own needs, whether that be time resources, you know, not taking care of something, delegating a little bit.
that it's okay to have those conversations and it's okay to prioritize yourself. When you prioritize yourself, you're gonna teach your kids that they should be prioritizing themselves in their self care and you're gonna be a much better mom, worker, business owner, anything. So those are some just points I would share to wrap up because we often don't want to prioritize or invest in ourselves or it feels uncomfortable. There's some nervous system expansion around that, right? We have to kind of expand that.
I am, you mentioned it earlier, Landi, I am worthy. I am worthy of this time, this money, this delegation, and really focusing on me. And that's why this stage of life can be such a beautiful time too.
speaker-0 (1:00:00)
It is, and it's an incredible time because we are kind of losing some of that bullshit filter where we just don't have the time and energy to deal with that. But being able to have that self permission to prioritize yourself because that can be very uncomfortable if you have never experienced that. If you're always the one that does everything for everyone else. I have a client that shared earlier today and she's going through a lot right now as she's
Helping her parents generation and or helping her parents. And she's like, I don't wanna bring this negativity into any of my friend relationships. I don't wanna burden someone else by sharing my struggles. And we are so much identified with being the strong one that I'm going to help everyone else. I'm going to handle it. And just being able to say, you know what? I'm carving out this time for me. I say in my...
programs, are non-negotiables. You know, there are things that are just not, we're not going to negotiate around. I am putting these in my life. One of them is hiking for me. It's a non-negotiable. I am going on a daily basis because if I don't set it up like that, I'm going to give up me to serve someone else. And I love how you highlighted that because to come into alignment with our goals, we have to put ourselves first.
And that means, okay, it might be uncomfortable in a social situation to say, I'm not gonna have the third glass of wine. I'm just gonna stick with two or one or none because socially that's kind of where you have always been. And we're changing the rules. The rules got changed on us. So we're gonna be changing the rules to kind of align with who we wanna be in this stage of life. And I love that you said that. Thank you so much.
I know that there are listeners who are resonating so deeply with what you have said and will be on board with peanut butter not being a protein. Because you hear I need more protein. Peanut butter is not necessarily where we're going to go. I know listeners are resonating so deeply with you and want to continue this conversation.
How can people connect with you?
speaker-1 (1:02:18)
thank you so much, Lani. And as you can probably tell by our enthusiasm as Lani and I talk, I live, breathe and eat this. It is my passion. I feel it is my purpose. ⁓ do have my, my mission is called fuck the frump. So just basically like, it is not okay. It is not okay to settle or feel mediocre or bad at this stage of life. And I don't want you to feel fatty.
fatigued, foggy, all of those efforts. So we want to really get the tools, get the support, get the accountability to start heading in a different direction within the beautiful confines of your lifestyle. And that's where I think I really excel as a coach, if I can say that, because I try to really meet a client where they are with empathy, love, support, and
the ability to give them a little sass and a little spirit and call them out sometimes when they need it. And that will always come from a place of love versus judgment. Yesterday, I had one of my clients who we were doing more of a metabolic conditioning workout because we're between phases and we were doing burpees and she was not super happy with me but using some language like, I'm so tired. And I'm like, no, we're not. We're not tired right now. We're good. Our energy is up.
So I try to help clients shift all those shifts that we just talked about very one step at a time. And then it becomes, this is just who I am and what I do now. And that's what's so cool is like that client I mentioned, she just saw the switch. It's the mindset shift so that all of the other things can become a little easier. So I would love to continue the conversation. I do post a lot on Instagram. That's usually the best place to find me. I am very real. I'm very transparent.
questions on any topic, please reach out to me. I do offer virtual coaching. I offer in-person coaching and I really explore it from the stability that we talked about, the structure, and then the main pillars and personalized for you as an individual. So I love what I do. I'm here to continue the conversation. I have my signature program called Lifted.
and then my Fuck the Frog membership. So I have lots of entry points for anyone out there who's ready to kind of take ownership and say, yeah, I got this midlife stuff. It's not a crisis. This is where I'm at. This can be my most powerful era yet. So let's continue the conversation.
speaker-0 (1:04:58)
Oh my gosh, I love that. And I will have all of your links down in the show notes and Instagram. Are you the midlife muscle mentor?
speaker-1 (1:05:05)
I am, Landi, thank you. Yes, my super identity there.
speaker-0 (1:05:11)
Please do follow Amy on Instagram. She's got some amazing stuff great information that comes out. Thank you so much for this incredible conversation. I have loved talking with you and I hope listeners are just pulling nuggets like crazy because there's such wealth in what you have shared.
speaker-1 (1:05:29)
Landi, thank you so much for this opportunity. I feel so lit up right now. You are a gift and all of your listeners are in such a special place and I can't wait to continue our conversations and continue to see what you unfold in this wonderful space. So thank you.
speaker-0 (1:05:44)
Gosh, thank you.
Landy Peek (1:05:46)
Amy, I want to truly thank you. This is one of those conversations that doesn't just give us information. It gives us permission, permission to stop forcing what's not working, permission to stop blaming ourselves and permission to get strategic instead of continuing to do the old things by the old rule book. And if you're listening and thinking, this is exactly what I needed to hear, here's what I want you to do next. Go follow Amy on Instagram
at the Midlife Muscle Mentor and check out the show notes. linking her programs and all of her links down in the show notes. So you can take the next step in a way that fits your life. And this matters. Midlife isn't this time of collapse, but it is reorganization. It is recalibration. Your body isn't betraying you.
Although sometimes it feels like it is.
It's communicating with you. If this episode helped you, share it with the woman you love who has been quietly struggling so that you can tell her you're not alone. And there are women like us out there ready to support you in the way that you need. I want to say, Amy, I'm so grateful for you for being here with this conversation and sharing the amazing strategies and tips that you did.
I want to thank you, the listener, for doing something incredible for you, for taking the time for you, because I know that gets tricky, for really taking that next step so that you create the life, body, mental health that you want, because it is your choice and it is your time. And it's the things that you do today that will change your tomorrows in an incredible, incredible way.
I am so grateful that you're here, that you're listening and that you're in my life. I truly value you being here. I want to let you know, because if nobody has said it, you are changing the world just by being you, just by showing up, by doing the things that you are doing in this world, you're making a difference.
I want to wish you all the happiness that today can bring, and I will talk to you on the next episode.
Speaker 2 (1:08:09)
Hey, before you go, just a little bit of legal. This podcast is designed for educational purposes only. It is not to replace any expert advice from your doctors, therapists, coaches, or any other professional that you would work with. It's just a chat with a friend, me, where we get curious about ideas, thoughts, and things that are going on in our lives.
As we're talking about friends, if you know someone who would benefit from a conversation today, please share because I think the more that we open up these conversations, the more benefit we all get. So until next time, give yourself a big hug from me and stay curious because that's the fun in this world.
