Episode #68 Your Brain Won’t Shut Off? Use These 2 Nervous System Tools Today (with Cheryl Dillon)

If you’re carrying the mental load, the emotional load, and a thousand micro-decisions—and you can feel it in your body—this episode is your reset.

Landy Peek is interviewed by Cheryl Dillon, founder of Thunderful Experiences and the midlife women’s community Connected Hearts, for a real conversation about why midlife feels so busy and isolating, how constant information keeps your nervous system on alert, and what to do about it—right now.

You’ll learn simple, body-based tools you can use in the moment (even in public), plus the mindset shift that changes everything: regulation isn’t about being calm—it’s about capacity.

What You’ll Walk Away With

Why midlife feels more scheduled and disconnected than earlier chapters
How phones, work creep, and constant input keep your system “on”
The difference between being the thermometer (reading everyone) and the thermostat (setting your baseline)
A smarter approach to change: micro-moments of safety, repeated daily
The most overlooked lever: what you do after stress (that’s when your body learns)
Two fast, discreet tools to downshift without needing perfect conditions

Try This Now (2-Minute Reset)

Tool #1: The Ear Pressure Downshift

Put your thumb just inside your ear canal and gently pinch/hold the small inner bump near the canal. Rest your hand along your cheek so it looks natural.
Use it until you feel the exhale/sigh. That’s the downshift.

Tool #2: The Lip Circle (Chapstick Hack)

Slowly trace around your lips with chapstick (or your fingertip).
Your mouth is a built-in self-soothing pathway. This signals safety fast—and it’s socially invisible.

The “Test + Retest” Method (How to Know What Works for YOU)

Don’t guess. Measure it in your body.

Before and after a tool, test:

Neck rotation: look right, look left—notice your range
Cactus arms: elbows at 90°, rotate fingertips up/down—notice your range

If your range improves after a tool, your system is telling you: this is resourcing you.
If it doesn’t? Drop it. Choose something else.

Big Ideas from This Conversation

1) Regulation isn’t calm. It’s capacity.

Capacity is your nervous system’s range to meet your life without your body taking the hit.

2) The real retraining happens after the moment.

When you resource yourself after stress, you teach your system: “It’s over. I’m safe now.”
That’s how patterns change over time.

3) Stop living as the room’s emotional thermostat.

Most women were trained to track everyone else’s mood, needs, and reactions.
This episode gives you language—and tools—to come back to your baseline.

Guest: Cheryl Dillon

Cheryl Dillon is a longtime divorce coach who supports clients through major life transitions. She’s also the founder of Funderful Experiences and creator of Connected Hearts, a community for midlife women who refuse to treat this chapter like a decline—and instead make it a turning point for joy, meaning, and real connection. Cheryl is exploring an online version of Connected Hearts while keeping the heart of the work: real-time gathering and honest conversation.

Connect with Cheryl:

Funderful Experiences Website: https://www.funderfulexperiences.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/funderful_experiences/

Mentioned in This Episode: The Stress Math Method (Starting in January)

Stress is just math.
When what’s being asked of you (decisions, logistics, emotional load, constant switching) is greater than the resources you have (time, support, recovery, systems), your body covers the gap.

Inside The Stress Math Method, you’ll:

Identify hidden drains
Reduce unnecessary demand without burning your life down
Build real resources back into your week
Cut decision fatigue so life feels lighter—fast

Details: The Stress Math Method Link