Landy Peek (00:37)
There's a kind of exhaustion that goes deeper than burnout. It's when life still looks full on the outside, but somehow you start to feel flat on the inside. There's a quiet ache that says, should feel grateful, but honestly, I don't feel much at all. It's the moment when your body starts whispering, I can't keep doing it like this. I'm Landi Peek and today,
On the Landy Peak podcast, we're naming that feeling for what it really is, a recalibration. I'm joined by Lindsay Spivey, a functional nutritionist and menopause expert whose work weaves together physical nourishment, emotional regulation, and spiritual resilience. Together, we're talking about the flat seasons of womanhood, why they happen.
what they're trying to teach us and how to move from fatigue and fog into real vitality again.
Because this isn't a midlife crisis, it's a midlife awakening. And this conversation can change how you see this time and space in life. Let's get to it.
Speaker 1 (01:50)
am so excited to welcome Lindsay Spivey to the Landy Peak podcast. Lindsay, welcome. Can you share a little bit about yourself so our listeners can get to know you?
Speaker 2 (02:01)
Thank you so much for having me. Yes, I am a functional nutritionist and certified health coach and I work with women in perimenopause and really the menopause transition. So I do work with women kind of pre and post menopause and kind of that whole transition. And I use really three pillars of health. So physical nutrition, so food, movement.
emotional system regulation. So this is kind of a big subject that maybe we can get more into because there's a lot of things we could talk about there. And then also spiritual connection or spiritual resilience. So really help women go from exhaustion and brain fog and really I want to say burnout but almost even more than that just flat like they don't feel like themselves. They don't have energy to do things. They no longer enjoy things they used to.
and really moving them into energy, vitality and joy. So that's really the areas that I focus on.
Speaker 1 (03:02)
I'm so, I mean, that's amazing as I say it, like I'm just diving into what you said. Amazing of what you do. But I was so glad that you brought up flat because I think as just you're talking, I had claimed burnout and there was a lot of stress in my life when I kind of like had to push pause and say, wait, I need to really shift things. But there is that sense of flat.
where things used to feel good and spark and fun and then you are just this like flat. Can you talk more about what that experience is so people can kind of tap into what you're and really understand what you're talking about?
Speaker 2 (03:41)
Yeah, this is a great question and I'm not sure I can answer it super clear, but I think any woman who's going through it knows what I mean and it really has to do with when our hormones are fluctuating, estrogen and progesterone and they're going up and down, up and down and we have all of this stress on top of that. our cortisol levels are spiking and we feel somewhat overwhelmed with our lives. Then we tend to lose joy in the things that we once
found joy in because we don't have time for that. Or maybe we don't understand what brings us joy anymore. We've been giving a lot of ourselves to maybe our family, our children, or aging parents, or maybe we over given our community. And that stuff isn't really bringing us joy anymore. So we really can start to feel flat in life. Like what's the purpose of this? I'm going through all these changes. I no longer maybe enjoy what I do at work. I don't have time for myself.
And so it really can leave us feeling blah, that flat feeling. And I think it's important to realize that women who go through perimenopause and get into that, those post menopause years generally will change jobs. They'll change careers. They change their lifestyle. Like all these beautiful and amazing things happen and we shed what no longer serves us. But when we're in it, it can feel really flat and kind of awful. Like what's the point of all this?
Right!
Speaker 1 (05:11)
I mean, it's very deeply as I've transitioned and changed a lot of different things in my life. And as I really started talking to the women in my life, how many like my mom went back to grad school during this, you know, 40s stage of her life and like quit one career and went back to grad school and started another. One of my dear friends, her mom got a huge divorce as you know, like, that's it. And it was like,
my gosh, one second I'm fine. And the next second, parents were divorcing. And as I've started looking at that generation above me going, wait, there were signs, there were big transitions. And as I'm going through it and my friends are going through it, we're also experiencing a lot of the transitions and changes that we're doing in our lives, but we're talking about it more. And I think that's so important, especially as we're talking today is that a lot of this is really common.
And we feel so isolated and alone, like, my gosh, I'm the only one. Is this like the midlife crisis? But there is something too. We are shedding what no longer serves us. And I love how you phrase that.
Speaker 2 (06:20)
Yeah, I think it's beautiful that you brought up that generations before we're experiencing this without actually speaking about it. And now it feels like, you know, this open door that we're allowed to talk about it, but there's still a lot of shame. I think when I was going through particularly the first couple of years of perimenopause, you know, I had someone say to me, are you going through a midlife crisis? And I thought to myself, what if I am? Is there something wrong with that?
Your brain is changing and I think whenever we change our brain fights us on. Now we have to stay where safe, we have to stay in that safe job and our safe routines and all the things we've always done. And then when we try to move away from that, we're conflicted. The people around us may be judging us. So there's kind of all of this shame. But once we actually shed all of it, it's like, yeah, I'm finally who I'm meant to be. I have a better understanding of me. And that's the powerful side that
Oftentimes we only talk about how terrible perimenopause is, and it can be terrible, but we don't often talk about the powerful side of it and all the things women gain as they go through this and reclaim themselves.
Speaker 1 (07:27)
Ooh, I love that. So let's dive into that. Let's talk about the power and the changes and the positives that come along with what often feel like a struggle when we're feeling like, my gosh, I'm going crazy. And I'm no longer, you know, feeling joy and I'm no longer loving what I used to love. And I'm a lot more snappy than I usually am. So we've highlighted that a lot.
in kind of conversations and in the media, but we're not hearing about that shift of what is the positive.
Speaker 2 (08:02)
Yeah, that's a really great point is the positive things. I mean, they're different for every woman. I think that's what's so beautiful about perimenopause is we get to choose, you know, why we, you know, change careers or the health and lifestyle things that we do. So some of the positive things can be, I've known a lot of women who become bodybuilders.
during paramenopause. They decide that they want to take control of their body and their exercise and their lifestyle. I know women who feel much more comfortable saying, no, actually that doesn't serve me and I can't be a part of that. I would love to support in another way, but you know, so really good boundaries, having boundaries on making our yeses are yeses and our nos are nos. Cause so much women are caregivers and
We say yes to everything and we want to make sure everyone's okay. But when we start going through perimenopause, we can't do that. We need to be really specific where we put our energy. And there's more of an ease about it. Like actually, no, I can't do that. So I think that's really positive. I think speaking to our higher self and our higher purpose in life. So, you spoke about your friend's parents getting a divorce and...
I'm not promoting divorce, but I think really recognizing, know, I've been in this situation, whether it's a relationship or a job, and it hasn't been healthy and I can't live like that anymore. So now I get to make a new choice. And during perimenopause, we're empowered to do that because we just can't live the way we've been living. So it's just such an interesting time and it affects women totally different. Maybe we find new hobbies that we never, a lot of times people say, I wasn't creative my whole life, but now I feel like I want.
to be creative. I want to learn plant care or you know something, some hobby that they've been interested in and never thought they could do and then they start doing it and find a deeper joy or purpose. So there's just so many things we can, so many ways we can go.
Speaker 1 (10:02)
I love that you highlighted was choice. You when you talked about we can no longer, we no longer have the capacity or the want or desire to like put up with all the bullshit. And so then we start making choices that are really aligned with us. And in the moment it feels heavy and hard, but there is such enlightenment as we have choice. And as we are starting to make choices, not just for everyone else, but really for us.
And I love how you highlighted that.
Speaker 2 (10:33)
Yeah, that's so true. And even as you speak about that, think going back to that choice is that it not only serves us, it serves the people around us and our community because then we're not building that resentment or that exhaustion. You know, when we're saying yes to something that we don't enjoy, we're exhausted by it. We're already dealing with exhaustion. So that's one way we can gain energy back. And as a menopause energy expert, let's not waste energy on the stress of I really wish I didn't
make that obligation and now I'm too guilty to say I can't be there because I've already said yes. We're we can just say no up front or we can say yes to things we love but we're putting our energy in the right place. We're not using it up and wasting it.
Speaker 1 (11:18)
love how you talked about the energy because there is a difference in how much energy I have and it's really highlighting where I want to spend that energy and not waste it. And that again comes back to that choice of like, ⁓ wait, I get to choose how I use my energy where I have just been like expending and expending it supporting everybody and everything. Now it's really fine tuning it.
Can you talk because you talked about just in your intro that you have three pillars as we're talking about this shift and how we can really support ourselves through it. Can you talk about your three different pillars and how you're really supporting that whole person?
Speaker 2 (12:00)
Yeah, that's a great question because I think so much in our tangible, very masculine world, we can focus too much on pillar one, is nutrition and movement. Super important. And this is a great place to start. And I think a lot of women want to start with me in that area. So using food and nutrition, we really want to think about
kind of what women are doing now and what are the things that they can do to gain some energy to start feeling better. Easy shifts. I always say it's so hard to go from zero to a hundred. You can't go from running a marathon or sitting on the couch to running a marathon, right? We have to start slow and make incremental changes, but that makes it easy to do. So really thinking about food and then movement that supports where our energy levels are now.
So much of our thought process as women is we need to kill ourselves. We need to do hits and orange theory or at least hardcore exercises, which actually can pull us away from our goals because they overstimulate cortisol levels and adrenal function. And we're already overstimulated. We already have these stress responses that are a little out of whack because our hormones are fluctuating. So then if you throw on some heavy exercise or the shame that you're not doing that on top of it, it can actually
give you the reverse results. It can make you gain weight. It could make you more tired. And so choosing exercises that support where you are and then knowing as you gain energy that you can change that. And so really being more in tune and connected with our bodies. I think that's so important and often overlooked. So that's pillar one. Pillar two is emotional system regulation. Or I like to think of it as
emotional nutrition. for me as a nutritionist, anything that feeds you is nutrition. But this is a big category. Oftentimes it's overlooked and it can be thought of as how we manage stress. That would be one basic way to think of that. But it can also be our belief system. So like emotional eating, what are we doing that is sabotaging what we're trying to do? There's a goal out there we want to meet, but for some reason we continue to do the same habitual habits over and over.
So looking a little bit deeper at that or the psychology of food, all of the things that regulate our emotions and how we attach feelings to events can really affect pillars one, two, and three. So that's sometimes we spend, at least in my coaching practice, we spend sometimes a lot of times in a most emotional system regulation, depending on where a woman is. So again,
It's different for each person. That's something to know. There is no straight, this is exactly what you need to do. It can be a little bit different for each person. And then my third pillar is strengthening the spirit or spiritual resilience, also thought of as spiritual nutrition. So this is something that isn't really talked about at all and isn't brought into the conversation, particularly in perimenopause. But what this pillar is, is connecting to ourselves at a deeper level.
to our environment. So that's really thinking outdoors and the creation, the created world, connecting to our higher selves and then connecting to God or the universe or whatever you believe in. And that can help really anchor in the whys behind pillar one and two. What is that deeper purpose? What brings you joy? How can we bring this into our everyday life? And for some women, this can even look like connecting with community.
You had spoke before about women feeling really isolated and alone in this period of their life and and not really understanding maybe what's going on. So even spiritual resilience can be connecting with other women or our church or maybe a volunteer activity that can start to bring that resilience back in because it's not just about managing stress and eating right in movement. It's about how we feel about doing those things.
We really want to have the resilience to be able to manage whatever comes at us. How do we do that? How do we bring greater purpose in so we can meet out our bigger whys and our bigger goals? So those are the three primary areas I work with women in.
Speaker 1 (16:25)
love how you talk about the spiritual aspect because you're right. It isn't something that we talk about. We look at and we hear a lot about how we need to move our bodies, what foods we need to put into our bodies. You know, we do look at and are aware of the emotional context and you know how stress is impacting us. But bringing in that spiritual because that's that next level of why we want to continue living, why we want to be out there, why we want to be doing things, why we want to take care of our body.
And I think so many of us are missing that it's the missing link. We're missing that part when we're trying to really navigate perimenopause in, and I love how you brought in the community and nature, cause those are things that I really brought into my life because I was very, very outwardly focused, but not tuning into what was spilling my cup. How was I really, you know, and the things that I was choosing.
we're because of shoulds and to do's and obligation and not, but this is really lighting me up. So can you speak to that kind of difference as we're shifting into this perimenopause menopause phase or post menopausal phase, how we can really light ourselves up, how we can find that spiritual nutrition.
Speaker 2 (17:47)
Yeah, so great. You that was very articulate. I love how you said that. ⁓ I think one of the small ways, because I really like to bring things down practical for your listeners and anyone I work with, you know, we're talking sometimes very high level here, but what's something a woman could do each day to try to bring this pillar into her life? And one way to start with that is to ask yourself, what brings me joy?
And I ask this to a lot of my clients and honestly, they don't know. They haven't thought about themselves and really what they want and their purpose in life. Like you said, to go on living, why are we here? What are we doing? If we're not having joy in our life and that's where that big flat comes in where it's like, I'm not really, you sometimes the only thing getting me out of bed is that cup of coffee that, you know, I guess I'll go do that.
You know, what is going to bring a little bit of joy into your life each day? And so for me, I love prayer. I love to go into prayer. It brings me a lot of joy. helps me center. And then even more to this doesn't have to be one thing. I live in an area where there's tons of waterfalls. So one thing that brings me joy is walking to a waterfall or doing a waterfall hike.
Another thing could be, love plants. I love doing plant stuff or herbal medicine or cooking. But for the woman who's listening, whatever it is for you, it's unique to you. But journal it out. Really think about it. What brings me joy? And try to bring in five or 10 minutes of that into your life each day. And then you'll start to see some big shifts that go on. Not only just with your energy, but that flat feeling that you have in your life. So really connecting to something small.
that brings joy can start shifting this whole thing. So not adding more overwhelm, not adding more to-dos, but something that's gonna be very powerful.
Speaker 1 (19:47)
It really is. And I love how you brought it. does make big shifts from a small shift, simply small that you're choosing. And when you're in that flat period or when I was in that flat period, just that thought of like, ugh, I have to get myself up and out and like try to go on a hike. Like, no, ⁓ it's that small bite size thing where it does start to shift. And now one of the things that is like non-negotiable in my life,
I love hiking. live in Colorado. I have an abundance of places I can go. So getting out for a daily hike is priority because I'm in nature. It's not just running around the block. It really is so soul soothing to be out in nature, to be alone, to be able to see, or in groups, but to see, you know, the animals and the different things. And it's amazing what I tune into. It's really my creative time and space is
that hike and I do it without music and without anything else. So my brain can really just expand and play. But I wasn't there from that flat line spots. It was, you know, finding intention and presence in kind of a momentary thing and then getting curious and playing. So I started with just being present in cooking and having that intention of, cause I mean, I have to cook dinner anyway.
So the intention of I'm gonna enjoy the sensations of being an OT and bringing in my sensory, but the sensations of cooking, the smells of cooking, slowing down, really being present in that moment. Because as I tuned in, really realized how much it shifted my entire family's dinner experience when I was intentional instead of rushing and slamming pots and like, you know.
trying to push things through, which is where I was. It's like, okay, I'm going to enjoy this. I have to do it anyway. So I'm going to enjoy this. And then I realized that my family ate different and we interacted different as I brought that different energy in. And so it was bringing in that intentionality into already existing things that I had to do that then started to tip over the energy and I started to feel better. So then it was like, okay, what?
can I add and wanting to add. And I went through the whole exploratory thing of back through hobbies. I'm bringing in, cause I realized I'd let everything go and was focusing on career and family. And I let go of some of the things I loved like horseback riding and dancing and, and starting to get curious about, I like those anymore? Do I really like to bake anymore? And some things were yes. And some things were no, but it was that play and it doesn't have to take more time.
because we can weave it in with things that we're already doing.
Speaker 2 (22:44)
Yeah, that's really well said. I love how you bring the intentionality, like peeling an orange, just peel the orange to feel the texture of that skin and the smell of it. Or when you're doing the dishes, do the dishes. So you're focused on that thing. And so it's not that obligation that I have to have to get through cooking. I have to feed my family again. I'm so sick of making meals. It's actually like, no, I get to enjoy this and change that perspective.
to something that I really love or maybe you don't and maybe you hire a personal chef or a, you you get, yeah. And so really figuring that out is such an amazing way for women to start. And like you said, doesn't have to add anything to your plate. A lot of times it's just little tweaks and then taking time. I think so much of our day is rush, rush, rush. And that also can take joy out of it. You don't enjoy cooking when you don't have time to do it. So, you know, changing your schedule a little bit or giving yourself an extra 10 minutes.
I have a client who loves to really get dressed up each day. Something she loves to put on makeup and be really well dressed and she wasn't making time for that. So it wasn't enjoyable to her, but giving herself an extra 15 minutes in the morning to figure out that outfit and to put on the amount of makeup and do her hair. That brought her a lot of joy. It's not something that would bring me joy, but it did bring her joy. And so that's such an important thing is it's again, like you said, it's something you have to do anyway.
Speaker 1 (24:14)
And it is, and a lot of times it's slowing down. I was really realizing how fast I was talking and it wasn't getting me to the end point any faster than, know, things weren't getting done faster because I was talking faster. It was actually degrading the communication because, you know, I was like rapid fire to my kids and they were not comprehending the rapid rate to like do the 35 things that I just had to do. And so slowing down.
Speaker 2 (24:36)
you
Speaker 1 (24:42)
my speech and really recognizing like, whoa, okay, so I can feel I'm upregulated. I'm getting really high here by the rapid ⁓ tone of my speech. so slowing down allowed for things to get done actually faster because I would say something to my kids. They could comprehend it. I wasn't like laying on 35 tasks. We were going through three things that they can actually do.
But then it was being done and I was getting less frustrated because I was like, my gosh, I'm talking to everybody and I give all these instructions and nobody's following me. No one is listening to me. I was like, whoa. Okay. So if I make sure I got their attention and I made sure that they heard and could follow through with the three steps that I gave, I also felt like they paid attention to me. So then I didn't get so frustrated. So sometimes in that kind of intentionality was slowing down.
You know, it was like giving myself as I'm shoving food into my mouth at lunch to go, ⁓ breathe, take a minute to actually eat and chew and swallow instead of, sometimes that was literally in my head of like, okay, chew, swallow, bite, chew, swallow. Like instead of just like scarf, scarf, scarf, but really realizing that I was at this really fast pace.
and then the flat and part of, and I love your perspective on that paramanopause journey because we are cyclical. And so sometimes in that cycle, I would feel energy and feel rushed. And sometimes it would be like flat lines and like, okay, I'm getting the kids to school and then I'm watching Netflix for the rest of the day and I'm doing nothing. And I'll set the alarm so I make sure to pick them up. And so.
Can you speak to that and how we can kind of navigate these ups and downs that we're experiencing?
Speaker 2 (26:41)
Yeah, I mean, I think you bring up a good point with just managing energy. So when we allow ourselves to slow down, it brings cortisol levels down. And that's something that's really important to think about because adrenaline is driving cortisol levels. So when we're speeding through things, when we have energy, a lot of times we feel like I've been dead for so many weeks or who knows how long it's been going on. I need to make up time. Now I have all this stuff. I have energy. I'm going to do everything I can right now.
But honestly, it just brings you right back to that flat place because your cortisol and adrenaline is so high. so really doing number one thing is start to recognize patterns. If you're rushing through everything that you're doing when you do have energy and then when you don't have energy, you're dreading everything you're doing. Those are two signs that you're out of balance. And what what's some small things that we can do to grab some of that energy back? Like you said, slow down and make
purposeful action. That can be one thing. And when we're feeling flat, don't force ourselves. I think it's really important to know that you have value whether you do something or not. Value doesn't come from accomplishing things. That's something that's false that's in our society, particularly for women. And we need to have great careers. We need to be amazing mothers. And we need to show up in all these places. But when we're exhausted,
That doesn't mean much, does it? And then shame comes into that. Well, shame uses a lot of energy to self hate and I'm worthless. I don't feel like getting out of bed. Maybe, yeah, maybe I did watch TV all day. What's life about? So really trying to manage our emotional energy in that and recognize slow down when we're feeling that, you know, all that adrenaline going to have to make up for lost time. And then when we're in that fat flat place to know that we have value.
even when we don't have energy, when we aren't accomplishing and do the next best right thing. So that's usually not eating a bag of potato chips. ⁓ Right? And so, or, you know, whatever the things, things are that you do when you're in that down place, all women have, you know, maybe your coping mechanism is TV, maybe someone else's is food, maybe it's alcohol. Sometimes alcohol feels great because then we can feel better in that moment, but then we just feel worse. So taking the next best right step.
is always a good place to be when you feel that exhaustion, that flat because self-shaming is just going to sap more energy.
Speaker 1 (29:13)
brought in the energy tied to self shame because it is really, takes a lot of energy and we are in that cycle because as we have been that strong human that just keeps going and we're like have all of the different everything in our brain and we're making sure everybody's going places and doing things. And then we hit this flatline space where we don't have the energy to do it. And we do start that self shame cycle of, my gosh, I don't have value.
because I'm not doing something, I'm just being. And then because I don't see I have value, then I'm down on myself for needing to take space and rest and recharge. And then we do, as soon as we feel that energy start coming, it's like, okay, I'm gonna cram as much in to make up for that last time. And I love how you highlight that we're then on that roller coaster of rush, rush, rush.
crash, crash, crash, rush, rush, rush, crash, crash, crash. And bringing in that we do have value even in those times when we don't feel like we do, that we are valuable human beings just by being human beings here on earth. We don't have to do something to earn that because that is such a societal ⁓ story that a lot, if not most of us have bought into.
Speaker 2 (30:37)
Yeah, it's so true. And I think it's also very masculine energy. Women create from within. We create when we have time in ourselves. And so when we feel flat, that's an amazing time to go in to think about what is my greater purpose? Why am I here? Why am I rushing through these tasks when my energy does come up? So you can see how that hormone fluctuation is pulling us down. And then when we're coming back up, it's all connected, right? It's like a big orchestra.
But when we're in those lows, that's a great time for us to evaluate why, what else, how can I create from the feminine? Because we're meant to receive at a high level instead of giving. Giving is something that's very masculine. Of course, women do it in both ways and we need both those energies. But when we get to one side of the doing, doing, doing, it doesn't give us time to create, to find out what hobbies we love, to find out.
What is our value in life? What is our purpose for being here? It's not doing. Human doing is not the thing. Human being is much more important. How we connect with our family and ourselves and God and our higher purpose. So much more important. They're both important, but I think in perimenopause it's really highlighted.
Speaker 1 (31:55)
I love that. And I love how you said masculine is really giving. Because we thought of that as a feminine thing that we give and give and give. But feminine is more creating.
Speaker 2 (32:07)
and receiving.
Speaker 1 (32:08)
And receiving, yes. And we create and receive from within and from space. And the one thing that we don't give ourselves time for, and I think is space and, you know, is really having that creative time. And it's the thing I think we're craving the most. And so there's this really missing piece here where we're craving that creativity. And I know as I hit perimenopause and I lost that energy to be able to kind of like do it all.
that's where parts of me started disappearing because it's like I was still in survival and I lost that creativity but I was focused on my value is in giving instead of my value is in receiving and creating. That's flip of the script.
Speaker 2 (32:55)
It totally is a, and I think most people don't even think of their life in those terms. mean, I remember in my early twenties, I had a million hobbies. I did so many things and I had a lot more energy to do and find out what I loved. And like you said, while I got busy and I let go of my horse thing and some of the things I used to do, do I even like that stuff anymore? And we can't find out until we can get quiet. And maybe instead of looking at those down times and those flat,
times as something negative, maybe we're actually giving, you know, I guess getting space to find out what that is again. But if we're stuck in shame and shoulds and all the stuff we should be doing and people we should be taking care of, we can never find it. So therefore we're going to stay there. We're going to stay in that high, low, high, low. We have to find out what is that creativity. And a lot of women will say, well, I'm not creative.
That's not true. It doesn't have to be, you know, maybe for someone that's doing Sudoku or something, you know, maybe if you have a more of a math mind or something or doing crosswords, it doesn't have to be something like an artist or, you know, like I can't paint. That's not going to be something that really what is it that's supporting you and getting quiet, going within and connecting so we can find out what that is. So we can stop this cyclic cycle of having to over give and say yes to everything and
have these up and downs where it leaves us feeling empty. I hate that feeling. I hated that when I was first started pari-menopause where I just kind of felt this flat empty feeling and it wasn't that fun. And it made the physical part of pari-menopause worse. Cause I think a lot of times we think of pari-menopause, it's just hot flashes or it's just mood swings or I just need to eat better. But honestly, there's something a lot deeper and I think spiritual going on that isn't being talked about.
And women have to really find that for themselves or with someone like you or me to guide them through that to sit to because we've been down this journey and we've seen how it can help like what's that next step that's going to help get you there.
Speaker 1 (35:03)
Right. And I'm glad you've really focused on that spiritual aspect because we do, and I mean, we're looking at those physical symptoms, right? Those are the things that like the energy and the hot flashes and you know, whatever is coming up for you for me, it was migraines again. And it's like, my gosh, I have to fix this. And it was fixing whatever I was looking for, whatever was going to, you know,
Do I need to change my diet? And I went there like, do I need to change my diet? Do I need to change my exercise? How can I fix the symptom instead of stepping around and looking at the whole picture and looking at the spiritual and how my emotional capacity was really tying into that and how my nervous system was really overwhelmed and not being able to downshift and go into that like.
calm, rest and digest because that didn't feel safe and okay. Looking at there's more to this. Can you speak a little bit more to that on kind of what's going on brain base wise and those shifts that are happening and how that is really impacting the physical symptoms that we're experiencing and wanting to fix?
Speaker 2 (36:04)
Yeah.
Yeah, I love the fact that you bring in fix because that's something females do. Okay, let's fix. And when I first started perimenopause, of course, as a nutritionist, I went right to my diet, right to those very physical things that what can we do? And I think it's important to know that because this is an orchestra, there's a lot happening here. There's a symbiotic relationship between food and movement, our emotions and that spiritual connection. But
you know, the root cause of perimenopause is a dysfunction of our endocrine system. And our endocrine system is large. You know, we're talking about our hypothalamus, our pituitary gland, our thyroid, our ovaries, our uterus, and then even going further out from that, our gut and our brain and many of these things. So we think of all, everyone in the orchestra has a job. And when something in the orchestra starts failing, like say your ovaries aren't producing as much estrogen.
So that's one area that's starting to fail. How can we bring balance to that entire orchestra to make it function better? It doesn't mean that we're gonna stop perimenopause, but it can help us think about how we're going to manage it and what we're going to release that no longer serves us and what we're going to add in. So maybe that looks like for a woman, I'm going to reduce sugar and caffeine to help my anxiety and my sleepless nights and reduce cortisol.
by reducing cortisol, then I can have more capacity to target emotionally. Okay, I am feeling really emotional. And it's true when we have, I mean, you've been pregnant, when you have hormone fluctuations, emotions are coming. But to me, emotions are messengers, whether they're coming from hormone imbalance or they're coming from an event, it's a message that your brain is sending your body. So really, if we can get calm,
Maybe it's through initially through food, you taking away a food or adding something positive or doing a light walk. Then we can really look at that emotional space and figure out what is it that's driving. Whenever I have something that comes up, I just go, okay, what is my body telling me here? Is this an old belief system? Have I attached something to this? Why am I overreacting to this situation? You know, I, at times it's like, why am I crying? I don't even, I don't understand what's here. So.
Being able to really look at that is so important and taking time to do that and understanding so that root cause and then how can we bring in small little things that make great shifts that allow us to take back some of our brain, some of our body, our life. Cause I mean, a lot of women come to me, I don't even reckon, I don't even know who I am. And I think we can all relate. Your skin's changing, your body's changing, your emotions are kind of, you don't know.
what you're going to wake up to, you're going to wake up grumpy, you're going to wake up with anxiety, maybe you didn't sleep good. So how can we start really looking at that and targeting each one of those things very, I guess intentional to the woman that you are in your life. And then you start to see those greater changes.
Speaker 1 (39:25)
Did that answer it? Yeah. visual is so huge. As you were talking and I'm thinking about, you know, there's like that one symbol player that's just like off tune and like bang and that's the emotional thing that's coming through or, you know, the hormones that are coming and you know, the migraine that's coming, whatever it is. But if we're looking at as a whole and we tend to look at things as pieces. So we're looking at
Speaker 2 (39:28)
But the
Speaker 1 (39:54)
you know, nutrition as an isolated piece and not how it is integral to the entire orchestra. And we're looking at movement as you know, and her movement does change and our movement needs change in this time and space of life is you talked about like the really hard exercise and hit, is it necessarily serving us the way that it did in our twenties?
And so looking at how that movement's coming in and that our emotions are messengers. And it's like, just getting curious about, okay, so what is it telling us about the whole system? And as you see it in this whole place of orchestra and you have the different, you know, parts that are coming together to the whole, it starts to make sense more and like, ⁓ okay, so what I do here impacts here.
And I can't just focus here and expect this to change. You know, if I'm just like weight gain, I'm just working on my diet. I'm just working on my diet. It's not helping. I'm going to exercise harder. It's not helping. We have to look at in the parts of what's, what are going on with our hormones emotionally. Where's our nervous system? Are we like really in fight or flight having high cortisol levels? All of those are going to come in together to create the system that we really want.
Speaker 2 (41:13)
Yeah, yeah, that was a great overview and it's exactly right. We can't take any one piece out because it's so everything is very much connected and you know, sometimes you'll come across people who are focused only in the spiritual realm, but it's like, but we're supported in our spiritual realm by the choices we make on our plate by the relationships that we have, what we choose to look at and what we choose to ignore.
All of these pieces matter and that's why three pillars really matter. We can't just stay in one area and I think innately women know this but we're so disconnected from our bodies and allowing ourselves to feel emotion, to just be robots, to just push through like you said and show up and do the thing and really this is a time for us to really say okay there's something bigger here. I really want to take time to find out who I am, why this matters and
A lot of times when will come to me and go well I just want to eat what I want to eat and I don't care anymore and that's a part of menopause too. It's like you know what I'm sick of pleasing everyone I don't care but then you're saying well I don't care about myself and the choices that I make in my lifestyle so it does matter because you're putting some type of emphasis on that in a particular way and that's just another coping or avoidance mechanism and we have to I always like for women to think
in a sense that's non-shaming to say, I wonder why, I wonder why I'm doing that, I wonder why that is. And really, it's because it kind of opens us up to that growth mindset instead of being stuck in the fixed mindset of what we have to do or what's happening, really going, I wonder, I wonder what else is there. So there's so much abundance, there's so much opportunity, but when we're stuck down in that miserable feeling, we can't see it, we can't even begin to recognize it.
Speaker 1 (43:06)
so one of the things I love in your approach is that you're looking at that whole system with the three pillars and how interrelated we all are. And as we, you know, try to isolate one thing, spirituality or emotions or, ⁓ you know, physically that we're really losing sight of that whole and giving ourselves permission to rest.
giving ourselves permission to ⁓ really tune in without the shame, I think is so huge.
Speaker 2 (43:40)
Yeah.
It's so true and I think it's hard for women when I first start working with women a lot of times we will go right into the physical because it's what they want right away and I think if we can even get some small shifts up front in that and gain a tiny bit of energy with a few nutritional changes or a few movement changes then it really opens the door for women to be able to look at those other areas and see what else is going on. So sometimes we need to see a positive shift
upfront and a lot of times it comes from that physical. It's very tangible, it's very masculine, it's very doable, it's like vacuuming like yes look at my carpets very clean as opposed to dusting where it's like doesn't look like it did anything. ⁓ So that I think really getting some shifts right up front can be important and then adding those other areas in in small tangible practical ways that any woman can do at any time in her day.
and feel really empowered. So it kind of pulls you out of that negative and almost failure space. You know, my body's failing me. Everything I'm doing is wrong. I don't have energy to do this. I'm frustrated. Maybe I'm irritable. Maybe I'm angry or maybe I'm sad. feel like so many women come to me and they cry. They haven't been heard. They haven't been seen. They feel like no one understands them. So you can get those initial breakthroughs through something very physical and move into these other realms.
Women tend to do amazing and my goal is always just to see that transformation to actually transform from what feels like this broken person when people come to me and make small changes and then actually Transform your life and then be able to maintain that to have the tools when you do fall back and I mean, of course I'm not perfect. I fall back too and I have down days and I think okay
What would I tell one of my clients or what is that tool that's going to lift me out of this and get me back on track? And I think knowing that it's okay if we fall again, even once we learn these tools, then we have them in the bank. We know what to go to when we feel terrible.
Speaker 1 (45:52)
Yes, there's that part of that instant, I don't want to say instant, but that quick gratification of I made a change and I feel it that creates that momentum that gives us more energy that then we can keep rolling. And I love how you start with, let's do something that's a little bit more masculine, like vacuuming the carpets, like we're doing, but it gives us that feedback.
And so we have the serotonin and dopamine hits of like, okay, I feel better because I got something done with, know, forget dusting. Let's make it, you know, big, like little movements that have big results, but then give us the momentum. And also talking about having those tools that we can bring out when we do slide into that low space, when we do feel like, my gosh, the world is ending, that we do have something that we know works.
that we can bring in. For me, it's music. Having certain songs, having a playlist that I can turn on and I have a playlist that I turn on because I know that's going to shift my energy. Even if I'm not going to go out and do a lot that day, it's just that what can I do is that 1 % to just make me feel a little bit more me. And then that 1 % starts going that momentum and I'm not so low as I was before.
Speaker 2 (47:15)
Yeah, yeah, that was said really beautifully. I love that you brought that in that it's just making that shift. Soon as we can kind of make that shift, we can make a greater change.
Speaker 1 (47:29)
It makes a huge difference So I have a foster kitten just as I'm sure people can hear on the recording. So I have a foster kitten who is very chatty tonight. So as we're coming to a close, are there any last parting words that you would love the listener at home to hear that maybe will shift their energy, the shift the way that they're viewing themselves?
in the ups or the down moments.
Speaker 2 (47:56)
Yeah, I would say that don't give up. You're not broken and there are a lot of solutions available to you. And starting with just one small thing, whether it's that spiritual side, just finding one small thing that brings you joy.
or the emotional side, one thing you can do to calm down your energy or that stress level. And then maybe one little thing that you can do in nutrition or movement. Maybe today you decide to put aside whatever junk food is or that thing that you love that makes you feel good in the moment, right? To get that dopamine hit and make a different choice, something small that's going to help give you the momentum.
to make them the next best choice and then do it again. And so really thinking about it in these small increments and knowing that you can gain energy, you can get vitality back, you can bring joy back into your life and really learn natural ways to manage perimenopause that are totally doable and practical. This doesn't have to be an overhaul of your life, because I think that's a fear for some women to even reach out for help. Well, I don't have time to add anything else.
And it's really not about that. It's about kind of saying, what can I get rid of and what can I bring in that's actually serving me and then ultimately serving the people around us, which I think is what we really want.
Speaker 1 (49:20)
Right. And I love how you said it's a focus more on getting rid of things because you feel so overwhelmed. And at times you can't even look at like, what can we get rid of? But there are a lot of things that are energy drains, but as we start going, okay, I'm releasing what no longer serves me. You do start to feel that shift and those little things create the momentum to make some of the bigger shifts in your life.
Speaker 2 (49:44)
Definitely, yes.
Speaker 1 (49:45)
my gosh, Lindsay, this has been such an incredible conversation. I know there are listeners that are resonating so deeply with what you're saying. Can you share how people can continue the conversation with you?
Speaker 2 (49:58)
Yes, thank you. I've enjoyed this as well. It's been a beautiful conversation. People can reach me at menopausewithlindsay.com and also that's my Instagram and YouTube handle menopausewithlindsay. My Facebook is menopausewithlindsayspivey because for some reason it wouldn't let me do the other one. I don't know tech technology. So those are some places people can reach out and see what I have going on and connect with.
Speaker 1 (50:23)
me.
Perfect. Thank you so much. And I'll have all the links in the show notes. I so appreciate you in this conversation.
Speaker 2 (50:30)
Yes, thank you.
Landy Peek (50:32)
What I love about conversations like this is that they remind us the shifts we fear most often hold the freedom we've been craving. Midlife isn't asking you to power through. It's asking you to pause, to listen. Listen to your energy, to your timing, to your truth. If you're feeling flat, it doesn't mean you're losing your spark. It means your body is recalibrating for what's next.
So as you move back into your day, I invite you to notice what softens when you stop trying to fix yourself. What softens when you stop trying to push and force and make something happen? ⁓ Let that softness be the start of something new. And I know it can be hard because this isn't about balance.
I think balance is a lie. It's about becoming. And the world and the woman who is inside, who is already there, who is ready to really let her light shine. She's here waiting for you to slow down enough to truly meet her.
I wanna tell you how grateful I am that you're here, that you're listening, that you're doing something amazing for yourself. And I think you're an incredible human. And just know that you are making a difference in the world just by being you, just by showing up. Until next time, I'm Landi Peek and this is the Landi Peek Podcast. Until next time, I'm Landi Peek and this is the Landi Peek Podcast.
Speaker 2 (52:18)
Hey, before you go, just a little bit of legal. This podcast is designed for educational purposes only. It is not to replace any expert advice from your doctors, therapists, coaches, or any other professional that you would work with. It's just a chat with a friend, me, where we get curious about ideas, thoughts, and things that are going on in our lives.
As we're talking about friends, if you know someone who would benefit from a conversation today, please share because I think the more that we open up these conversations, the more benefit we all get. So until next time, give yourself a big hug from me and stay curious because that's the fun in this world.
